Most years, I put a vision board together. Most years (okay, every year), I stuff it very full. This year is different. I don't know if it was the loss of my dear father a couple of months ago, turning 56 (which felt like the complete end of middle age, and the entrée to the last chapter) and the crazy horror occurring around the world, but I have been unusually contemplative for the past few months.
I am a late bloomer, in some respects, and I've finally realized that I am enough, I have enough and I do enough. I don't need to prove anything to anyone else, so it's time to quit proving things to myself. I don't need any more clothes (my biggest weakness on the spending front), as I have three sizes in various closets and more shoes than I can count. I don't need more stuff. I don't need to be busy all the time.
So this year's theme is simplicity, with the mantra of 'enough'. The enough applies to overdoing, overthinking, over-committing, overspending on stuff, too much clutter ... I want space. Being an all or nothing gal, I tend to go whole hog (pun intended) on diets, only to drink half a bottle of wine (my gateway drug to scarfing down any cheese on the premises). I go gangbusters on decluttering, only to travel and purchase more stuff. I commit to wellness practices, only to overcommit with clients and volunteering.
Since December, I've been saying no to new volunteer commitments. I already spend about 30% of my time on pro bono boards, mentoring others, etc. I've been referring business to others if it won't feed my soul or if I'm too busy. I've been reading more fiction, sitting under a blankie with my cat and a cappuccino. I love having days where I don't leave the house. (Now THAT is new for this extravert.)
Instead of plunging headlong into my days, I am starting with meditation, which doesn't come easily to an ADD type, but is helping with the overthinking. I journal in the morning (using Julia Cameron's morning pages practice). I draw a soul card each morning and ponder it. I read spiritual writings. My other cat kneads my lap while I do most of this. And it makes me ridiculously happy.
I'm writing again - this time an autism book for children - which has nothing to do with furthering my business.
I'm still an energized soul who enjoys work, but I have decided that in this last chapter I want to sit with space, play with calligraphy and other creative pursuits.
What's your goal? Is it to have fewer goals? No goals? My zen husband has one goal. It's the same every year. It's the pursuit of pleasure. He is a beacon for me. He has hardly any stuff, enjoys simply 'being', loves reading the paper, following the news and the stock market, making a lovely dinner, and happy hour with his sweetie. Travelling is a nice bonus and so are friends. Could it be that simple? I'll let you know...